What is this talk about cyber-stalking by Pastor Fred Whaples and the abuse survivors of Prairie Bible Institute?
A closed secret Facebook group for abuse survivors from Prairie Bible Institute's was compromised by a fellow alumni and pastor who gained access and used information to intimidate the survivors. Retired Dr. John Snyder exchanges emails with Fred Whaples after having a three hour face-to-face meeting with him in which he tried to mediate peace between and Pastor Whaples. I have since filed a police report against Fred Whaples for cyber-stalking and cyber-bullying.
These are email exchanges between Fred Whaples and John Snyder. John Snyder tried to act as mediator between Fred and me in a three hour face to face conversation.
I asked John for permission to post and his response was “As far as your using what I posted, I am not comfortable with its being used in a vindictive fashion or being used to extract revenge. However, whatever is posted in public is available to the public. I will not take any action toward you should you choose to use it for your personal purposes. I will be disappointed, but I understand your perspective.” I have always maintained that things should be done transparently and so I am posting this so that everyone can see and make up their own minds as to what they choose to believe. I will not be defending myself from any accusations as I have chosen to involve law enforcement in this on-going dispute with Fred Whaples.
Here is a copy of my communication with Fred Whaples today.
Trust your Monday is going well and you are staying warm in this chilly weather we are so rarely getting to embrace.
I wanted to ask for some insight on some comments and recommendations you have made on the "We were" site (since you know I am reading). When you encourage me to apologize (which would be the third time doing so) to the survivors so that I can gain more ground are you not being counterproductive in your efforts to stay neutral? Are you not also now making it seem like a division between me and suvivors when it has always been a division between Linda and me? In essence don't you think you have endorsed the fear of my attacking the group? This would severely damage your role as mediator and I would greatly enjoy your thoughts.
My second is more personal in nature. While you deny my friend request I take note that you are friends with Linda and a myriad of "anti-Fred" people. You have done a brilliant job of working us towards reconciliation (even if it hasn't succeeded), but at what point can you and I openly engage without fear? At what point can you say "i am friends with both," showing it is pleasantly doable?
Your insights are always articulated in such a manner that brings clarity and confidence. Please know I am not trying to accuse, or attack but merely in friendship wanting to understand your processing. Thanks my good Dr. friend!
Thank you for asking the questions rather than assuming the answers! (I said that once before on Facebook - seems like there are a lot of assumptions going on!).
With regard to your first question, no one that I've spoken with has any recollection of any of your apologies. So, in the minds of those currently on the site (so far as I know), you have not issued any apologies for not listening before you spoke and for appearing to use scripture as a weapon against the survivors. Mind you, I'm not saying you didn't apologize, but apparently no one on the site remembers it if you did. So a repeat apology would be, in actuality, a first apology to many/most of the survivors. And the apology could have been phrased in a way that indicated you simply came to the group lacking a full understanding of the trauma suffered by the survivors rather than indicating that you had intended to appear holier-than-thou and condescending to them. So you could have used the apology to indicate that this was a misunderstanding rather than a deliberate negative action, and I think some individuals at least would have related to that.
Secondly, you may view your disagreement as between Linda and yourself, but in the survivors minds (as I read them) this is ABSOLUTELY a disagreement/division/virtual war between you and the entire group of survivors. They are absolutely threatened by your ability to read their postings. They feel this is an invasion of their privacy, and I agree with them on that. One of the things I've learned since my exposure to these survivors of sexual abuse is the degree to which they live in fear. Your spying on their private conversations ABSOLUTELY makes you an enemy of all of the survivors. As far as my endorsing their fear of your attacking the group...you've done a better job of that than anyone by flauting in their face your ability to spy by contacting both Teri and another lady (Kathy, I believe). How can I possibly stay neutral in this particular area when what you are doing is, by anyone's standards, completely unethical?
As far as my role as a mediator is concerned, I thought I might have an opportunity, but I no longer see any opportunity to function as a mediator. You are determined to do what you are doing, and Linda isn't going to budge. Right now, I'm truely not at all concerned about my role as a mediator; I want to stand on the side of what's right. As this relates to you, I am totally against your spying, and I cannot and will not justify or support it.
With regards to the friend requests, I believe that if I show you as a friend I lose all ability to interface with Linda. Certainly that's not your fault, but it appeared to me at the time that the overall good could best be served by making the decision that I did. However, I have allowed it to be known that my brother is PBI's attorney, and apparently that is causing some considerable consternation. I do not want to be dictated to regarding who can and who cannot be my "friend". So I may well reconsider that decision. Should I list you as a friend, I will explain my intentions to all - i.e. it's insane that we are behaving this way - and stand back and let the chips fall where they may.
If you have ANY desire towards reconciliation or mediation, the first step is to stop your spying. The only way the survivors will believe that is for you to tell them how you have done this spying so that they can verify that it has stopped.
Again your words have not fallen on deaf ears. Here are the apologies with date and time stamps for anyone that might want to check them out. I give you permission to post any or all of this correspondance:
Nov 21 at 9:01pm
I'm weary of fighting. I really don't have the heart of spirit for this. I love God and I love all of you (even if you don't think so). in my frail human attempt to help I fall short. I am sorry.
Nov 22 at 8:35pm
Please forgive me if my use of scripture has offended.
Nov. 22 at 9:03pm
I'm sorry...sincerely.. that we keep disagreeing. I can't change that but I surely did not come here with an intent of division. can we not find ground to agree on.. even if there is some we won't? Or is our relationship based on an all or nothing acceptance?
I was banned on November 23rd from the site shortly after my final apology.
February 13, 2012 (Today)
Dear members of "We Were",
I want to reiterate my sincere regret for offending any of you back in November with my use of scripture in such a way that it was hurtful. I am guilty of speaking before listening far too often in my life and this particularly showed itself the three days I spent with you in November of last year. Would you please again accept my apology for not listening. I want healing and restoration for all of you. I want you all to experience safety and peace. While Linda and I will remain in conflict due to her activity on and off line against me this has nothing to do with you. For this reason, I hereby give you my word, my promise, my absolute guarentee that I will no longer be viewing material from your site. I have taken steps to delete my access to your site and want you all to have the established place of healing you so rightfully deserve. May God bless you. You are welcome to contact me with any questions or comments if it will assist in moving forward. --Fred Whaples---
If you are able, it would be helpful to know what the steps are that you have taken to delete your access to the site. If that information were available, it would cement the fact that the site is free of spying. As it stand with the above statement, they still have to take your word for it. I'll wait to post anything until I hear from you.
My word is all I have. I cannot control or guarentee the fact a mole may exist. However if it does I do not know or have knowlege of who that would be. As for me I no longer can view the messages or content of the "We" site. That is all I can promise. Dr. John you have met me. You know I am a man of my word. I have hear your advice I have humbly yeilded to it. ---Fred
Thank you again, Fred. I interpret what you're saying as that you had retained the ability to personally view the site on your computer, but not post on the site. Am I interpretting this correctly?
Thank you, Fred. I believe this is a huge step towards righteousness and justice. I want to thank you for being a big enough man to do what is right.
Thanks for walking with me on this rugged road.